SWEETHEART WORD EMPRESS™

{Photo By: Othello Carter}

So how about my Summer of Self Love is kind of kicking my butt. So much is coming up that I had not anticipated. I dream again which I had not done in a very long time. They're those vivid, in color dreams that keeps me up at night.

Now that I've realized they may happen on a regular, I keep a journal next to my bed. It's something I would do all the time, but I had to learn to turn it off. I'm allowing myself to awaken that part of me again for this summer.

Another thing that has taken place is thoughts of my ancestors. My Pops {mom's dad}has been heavy on my mind and also my grandma who passed away 13 years ago this month.

I think everything is how it should be however. Around the time I decided to do my Summer of Self Love I was given some opportunities that gave me more time for myself. This freed up my time greatly to truly focus during yoga, prayer and meditation. The grounding work along with eating better I think also frees up my mind as I sleep better when I eat better. I've noticed that my mind has more clarity when I cut out things or cut back I should say, on sugar, salt and dairy. Plus I make sure, like for sure, for sure, that I get enough water, fruits and vegetables. And I've always been good at getting in enough protein.

So yeah, I'm just thankful for the time and the space to dig deeper than I had anticipated and to deal and heal with some things that I thought were gone. When this poem came to me, I decided to just let it flow, to just let it be. I may explore it more later or I may just release it and be done. I don't plan to lie to myself, lol, that's for sure. I will just freely be and see where my mind, heart and soul takes me.

The Lie I Told Myself

The lie I told myself
Is that I don't need you
I don't desire you
nor crave you
Is the lie I told myself

It was deeper than my constant cravings
deeper than my flesh
it was more than just sex
Was that THE lie that I told myself?

The lie I told myself
was perfect to protect my feelings
and how my heart would beat for you
The lie I told myself
erased the once upon a times,
the sweet and the divine
need and feels for you

The lie I told myself
temporarily removed you from my mind
made my body feel blind
yet I could clearly see
that you were the one
with whom I wanted to be

I don't want you
was the biggest lie of all
because I tried not to get hurt
And I simply could not fall

I CAN live without you
Without your touch
Without your love
Without your smile
Without your eyes
Looking back at me
and making me feel all the feels
that are still ever so real?

So many lies
Oh the lies
that I've told myself

Poem By: Ty Swint aka

SWEETHEART WORD EMPRESS™