The Beauty In Being You

There is such a, what is the word? Such a beautiful light that shines when we are being ourselves. There's just so much beauty in being you.

So many thoughts flood my mind as I think about this. Where to start? I'll start first with a wavering of sorts on my journey of this beautiful, crazy thing called life. As the only girl in my sibling world of me and four younger brothers, I was often "spoiled" but in a good way. I suppose the better term over that spoiled word is, I was taken very good care of. I was treated preciously and still til this day my brothers and one cousin of mine, he's also my brother, will call or text to ask if I need anything. Sometimes they'll just show up with an envelope of money. And I love when they share, "how are you beautiful sister of mine." "I love you my beautiful sister." Oh my babies {big smile.} And there's my grandma, my dad's mom, who my Auntie often reminds me felt that I and another cousin of mine hung the moon and the stars. I think I may have shared that once before, but wow, what a lovely thought and feeling that someone thinks that greatly of you. We should feel that way about ourselves. But those thoughts and feelings can unfortunately be so easily disrupted by people in the world if we allow it. And I did, I once upon a time allowed it and even this month, had the same thought on two occasions that left me feeling that the beauty that is me, was not enough.

I am so thankful for my foundation of feeling like I am enough. For being treated as such. For constantly being reminded that there is beauty in being myself, and loving myself just as God created me. And for my foundation in knowing how great God is and how much He loves me to where I was able to easily shake the thoughts that tried to distract me.

The world can become so noisy and filled with ways of sharing outright or in ugly undertones that you, you the person that God created is somehow not enough. It's hard for me to believe that I let my guard down and started to hear the roar of the world over the word of God. It's a long story, but after so many deaths in my early life from about 9th grade, to age 19 and even a few afterwards, it's easy to look back to see how I lost my way and turned to relationships that did not serve me well. It's easy to see and recall how destructive patterns and ways of living took me from a girl and young lady who easily knew and moved about this world knowing that the beauty of being me was enough.

It's been an odd and beautiful, crazy and fun, crazy and sad and freeing journey home to myself. I can not explain how good it feels to just be. To know I am enough. To recall that we are simply a collection of cells and to not take this crazy, beautiful thing called life too seriously. It is wonderful and the best feeling to know that I am a gift. That my mom and dad prayed for me, and given all the things that can and sometimes sadly do happen during childbirth, that here I am a miracle and the gift and bundle of joy that someone prayed for before and during 9 months and still thank God for up til this day.

To me, when we think of how amazing we are, yet how simple, just a collection of cells, it's so easy to just love and appreciate every single cell of our body. To be in awe of ourselves the way our loved ones did when we were babies, wiggling our toes, being amazed at how something felt, staring at our fingers and bringing our loved ones so much joy with our laughs, exploring and simply just being. I relish in that. The simple beauty of simply being me. There's so much Beauty In BEING YOU.