7 Ways To Say NO

NO. It is now one of my favorite words. I've learned so many different ways to gently, yet firmly say no. It is probably the form of self care and self love that has served me most.

By nature, I am a people pleaser and naturally like to take care of people. I'm the oldest child. I'm a woman. I'm a Leo. It seems to be the norm that women are innately yes people. I've found it often time to be the case with the oldest of siblings and also often time with the Leo humans of the world, lol.

I was once such a YES person to where I would drive all over town for a company I worked for. I had worked for said company for about 13 years and being my natural self, when it would be asked of me to drive from Marietta, GA to the Gwinnett area for anyone who knows Atlanta, I was like, Sure or Yes. I even asked what time they needed me there versus considering not stressing myself out with the oh so famous Atlanta traffic and instead sharing with them what time I could be there. I had gone so far as to even learn back roads. You name it, whatever it took to be the people pleaser that I once was. Well, the company to whom I served for 13 years, well rather I should say the manager of the company, decided to share with me that the company lost revenue during a weekend I decided to take off. My reason for taking off, my 19 year old nephew had passed away on that Friday. It was imperative and one of those times that I had to put myself and my family first. I remember even calling people to try to cover my shift although I was experiencing what felt like some of the worst pain in my life. It's been 7 years now this past March that my love passed away, but I can still remember it as if it was yesterday. The hyperventilating. The tears. The anger. The sadness. The going to the bathroom for tissue to blow my noise and feeling my knees weaken to where I needed to slowly fall to the floor and lay against the cold tub.

This was not the only thing to happen in my life that has taught me to learn to say no and to care for myself first. And for me, it took time to learn to say no without guilt or apology. Now saying NO is what's more second nature, more innate for me. I laugh at myself because I used to practice saying NO in the mirror. I became tired of the stress of stressing over saying no, refiguring my life to say yes to someone who probably gave to rats butts about me, lol. Laying awake in bed feeling guilty for saying no and going back the next day with a yes. If it took practicing in the mirror, hey, that's what had to happen. I've learned to put me first and to do what it takes to take care of me, mind, body and soul.

Here are some of the ways I say NO.
1. No thanks.
2. Thank you so much, but I'll pass.
3. Thank you for thinking about me, but no, thanks.
4. Thank you for considering me, but no thank you.
5. Oh my, no thanks.
6. That sounds like a great opportunity, however not for me.
7. I appreciate you so much, but no thank you.

The list is probably longer than the above, but yes, I've come to learn to say NO with such ease. No tossing in bed over my no. No going back to say yes, none of that. Just plain ole NO.