I'm looking at a blank virtual sheet of paper like times before, not knowing where to start. I've had so many thoughts about what to share regarding my awesome, wonderful and unexpected emotionally filled trip to Moab, Utah. Planning the trip was a detour of sorts. I had originally wanted to make a trip to Mona, Utah to visit Young's Living Oils lavender fields. Going there has been on my radar for some time now and before I had ever imagined I'd be in Utah for this long. But I saw the most beautiful photo of another blogger who had visited Moab with her family and a few days later as I waited for the train, it pulled up with a huge ad sharing to visit Moab. The train was wrapped in this ad and there were more ads once I got onto the train. The ad was of more gorgeous photos of what I later learned was Arches National Park. I did a little research on how to get to Moab from Salt Lake City, what kind of time it may take to visit the park, what points of interest I most wanted to visit with the time I had and where to eat after visiting the park. I had no idea I would end up 4,839 feet alone and atop of this place where with the gusts of winds, one wrong slip or the fear from the ravens that came too close could have had me possibly, just possibly sliding to my death. You guys, I am so not exaggerating. As I type I'm crying and laughing at myself at the same time. And speaking of crying, as I set alone on a smooth rock that I would later have complications climbing over to get back down, I found myself in unexpected tears. I was so not prepared for that and it was not a pretty sight. LOL. As emotions and thoughts and more emotions filled me, I set among strangers with tears falling like big raindrops down my cheek and onto my jeans and snot was every where. Oh my gosh and ewww. It was not a pretty sight at all ya'll. So why the tears?
You know, whew, there were just so many emotions. For starters, my honey bunny and I set out to climb up to see the Delicate Arch together. At the bottom of the mountain there were warnings that it was a difficult climb, to be prepared with water and what not, but we glanced over it and I thought how hard could it be to climb 4,839 feet. I mean after all, that's less than 1 mile right, is what I thought to myself. And I love to walk and had walked plenty miles in the streets of Paris, New Orleans (with alcohol in me), New York, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Nashville, Brighton and London, England and my favorite place to stroll, Miami. Well, this was definitely not a Miami mile.
Shortly after starting on our way up, my friend could not make it. The terrain in a short period of time had become difficult and my friend who once loved to bungee jump has recently discovered that he has a fear of heights. We both decided that we had come to far, a 3 hour and 45 minute car ride, for me to turn back. I was excited for us to see the Delicate Arch together, but I had to understandably go alone. Now before moving on with this story, I want to share with you guys that I thought we could reach the Delicate Arch by car. When doing my brief research I read that it would cost $30 to get into the park which I had mistaken for also driving to the arch especially since the information I read had instructions and tips for bikers, hikers and those in cars. I say all of that to say, I was SO not prepared. I a Nikon camera in tow, a make up bag, not for make up but to carry my cell phone and some other items, one water bottle and wore no sleeves, wore jeans (not too bad) and tennis shoes that are for show with no traction. Oh goodness Ty. But yep, I moved full speed ahead, not knowing, what was ahead.
So after leaving my friend behind and walking UP, I started to get winded, my lips dry from the air and lack of hydration and at one point I contemplated going back down and sharing with my friend to let's just go grab a burger and a beer. But I couldn't give up. So I rested as strangers passed me by, mostly whom were younger, one couple older. They stood out because they were just the cutest couple and because they were older and getting it while I had to sit my butt down. But I decided, "Ty, don't be a hero. Take your time Boo. The Delicate Arch is not going anywhere and you have nothing to prove by moving faster than at your own pace." After resting a bit and taking slow slips from my Life Wtr, I started back up again. I loved when I arrived to flatter surfaces which didn't last for long and it was time to pull hills again. At one point my stomach felt yucky and I felt like I may regurgitate. It made me think of one of those realty shows where the contestants were pushed to their limits. Surely this was not my limit. At this point I started to think that once I get back down, I just wanted a salad and maybe, maaaayyyybe a light glass of wine, but definitely no heavy yeast filled beer or no type of cocktail. I think I even vowed to myself to start eating pretty much only salads and vegetables and way less meat and bread and pasta and desserts and booze and........
I was having all of these thoughts as I continued to climb, passing others both climbing up and walking down. And then there were moments where I was all alone. Had I missed a trail sign and gone the wrong way? No, I thought as I know I know I was well alert, plus I noticed the footprints of those who had come before me. "Ok, Ty. You're on the right trail." And in this moment of alone ya'll may know me and know I couldn't resist this opportunity of being alone to grab a few additional photos and video footage which I took also when others were around, mostly with the Nikon, but while finding myself on the path by myself, it allowed me additional time to break out the cell phone for selfies which I didn't do around others because a lot of the trails were of thin strips of rock stacked upon other rocks to climb and I didn't want to slow anyone down.
"God is truly a-may-a-a-zing. God is truly a-may-a-a-zing." I thought and sometimes sang aloud as I experienced walking a bit of the trail with no one around. I also thought and started singing, "Jesus walks. Jesus walks with me, with me, with me." I loved the solitude SO much. I took in all of God's beauty, capturing photos and taking more time to break out the cell phone to take some video footage. As I sung Kanye's song I also thought as I've thought during some travel alone, "Lord it's just you and me." Those tiny strips of rock upon rock could easily have become a tragic accident and who would find me? I'm laughing again because I just have a sick sense of humor and I laugh at myself and my thoughts often. But yes, momma had to tread lightly upon the delicate earth with so many various terrains from smooth rock, to sand and something that I don't know what it was, but staying on the path for sure to honor mother earth and because I had read the importance of staying on the path for ones safety and also to not disturb the natural habitat. I definitely wanted to honor and respect that.
The foot traffic of others started to pick up again. It felt like I was getting closer to the Delicate Arch and then oh my God, there it was. There I was. It was so beautiful and not as crowded as I thought it would be. There were some people perched upon stones. Others bravely walked down to the arch, taking victory and other cool photos. Man, I had come this far, so far, but could not walk down to that arch. A friend and I had a brief conversation about depth perception and how in the photos I shared, it didn't look like a walk over to the arch could lead to a goofy moment that could lead to one's death, LOL. And in my head I was thinking about some bloggers I had seen in headlines about dying in such situations and scenarios. I had butterflies of disappointment in my stomach. I had come all of this long way. I had dreamed of getting photos under the arch, on the sides of the arch, way closer to the arch than what my mind and feet would allow. I took a deep breath and found a rock to sit on. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath and decided to just be in the moment. And for some reason as I raised the camera to my eyes to start to photograph the Delicate Arch, tears just started to fall down my face. I was overcome with so many emotions. I felt accomplished. I felt defeated. I felt so overjoyed with happiness from all of the natural beauty around me. I felt grateful to just be in Utah and specifically in Moab which I had asked to visit only a few days before and here I was already.
I felt disappointed in myself. And I even felt guilty. For some reason there was this guilt for not appreciating how far I had come and for wanting more, and that led to my thinking about all of my friends and family who are no longer here on earth and in my most humble of opinion, was gone too soon. We're talking deaths at ages 14, 16, 19, 20, 21, 36 and even recently, friends who have passed away in their 40's. And then I thought of Atatiana Jefferson who's senseless death I had most recently read about and far too many others like her, and even though I felt disappointed in myself for not being able to take that walk over to the arch, a voice said, "But you're here. You're here." This is when the stream of tears turned into huge raindrops. I took off my shoes and allowed my feet to feel the earth beneath me. I wiped away my tears and started to capture all of the beauty around me. It was around this time that two ravens came near me. Boy were they close. And I just started clicking, capturing photos of them and their movements and beautiful silky wings. They made me smile as my warped sense of humor came back again and I thought, "they're just waiting for one of us dumb dumbs to fall."
It was all so beautiful. Just sitting on that rock, being in the moment, photographing all of the things that caught my eye. I captured a few more shots and then put my shoes back on thinking I'd better start my way back down. My poor friend had been sitting in his spot for about 45 to 50 minutes. As I started to climb over the little rock I set upon, oh my goodness, it wasn't easy. Dang it. Well damn it is really what I thought. There was nothing for me to grab on to. I took my shoes back off for better traction. I then threw my make up bag up by my shoes and clutched the camera as best as I could to protect it and continued to try to get over that one dang rock. Nothing. I could not get over that darn thing. There was a brief moment of fear and I thought, "Oh my God. Please help me get over this rock. I've got to get back down this mountain." Then this nice guy came over and asked me if I'd like some help. I was like, "Oh my God, yes. Thank you." I shared with the guy that I thought it would be easier than this to get back down, sharing that getting up I figured would have been the tougher part. He smiled and gave me his hand to grab a hold to, pulling me up and sharing, "Yep, it's looks easy, but it's pretty tough." He asked if I were ok to which I replied yes and I thanked him again. I had to sit on another rock, LOL, and let my wobbly legs compose. Trying to get over that one rock scared the you know what out of me. There was only one other way down and it wasn't the cute scenic route.
After my legs became stable, I put my shoes on, gathered up my things and started on my way back down. On my way back down I had the opportunity to help someone which felt good, especially after someone had so kindly helped me. And then two ladies asked how much longer and wondered if they were on the right trail. I shared how much longer I thought it would be from my experience and shared with them that they were on the right trail and showed them a trail sign to look for as there were more of them to follow. The ladies thanked me and shared I was right on time as they were getting discouraged and tired. And then I laughed at myself as I thought, "Man, forget a salad. I want me a burger and a beer." And then I thought, "Where is my friend?" I could have sworn I was at the point where we had parted ways. I thought perhaps it became too hot and maybe he went back to the car. And then shortly there he was, sitting on the rock and sharing he was happy to see me and also worried. We joked that surely if something had happened to me someone would have said something. He had seen people go up after me who had made their way back down. We hugged and kissed and shared moments that we experienced while apart and then picked up on our journey together to make our way all the way down and back to the car. As we walked together one couple asked us was it worth it to which I chimed in with an, "Oh my God, yes." The guy from the couple shared, "That's cool. That's cool to hear, thanks."
Photos By: Ty Swint
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