#YearOfNOFear

{Photos By: Othello Carter}

Ya'll, o.k., so what had happened was, I Googled myself, LOL. And what I found were some good things and some not so good things. The good things were I liked the hints of love that appeared in my search. There were photos and videos of me wearing the #ChooseLOVE t-shirt {thumbs up} and other photos that were sweet, fun, loving and caring. But there just weren't enough videos or photos of me singing. I'm an aspiring singer and therefore there should be videos and photos of me singing. Now, I'm not one to be hard on myself and I know where my singing block comes from. I also know that most of my blogging journey has been a healing process since the death of my nephew back in 2013 after which time I promised myself I would work toward being my own boss and making a living doing all of the things I love. But you know, it's time to do the darn thing. While I know only time can heal a heart and while I'm still healing, I just can't get stuck in a rut of just saying and not doing, being an "aspiring" singer, photographer, this, that and the other. It is time to BE. So the challenge I've given to myself is to make a list of all of the things I want to be, to do, to make my living as a creativepreneur and do them. Especially in regards to singing. I can take photographs all day, write, blog, be the subject of photo shoots, interview people, but the singing area, ooh wee, it holds huge tinges of fear for me.  So within the next year, starting today, Sunday, August 7, I'm going to go for all of the wild and wacky ideas that comes to my mind. The things that are within my powers I will definitely do and the things that are not within my power, well, I’ll just have to try again and again until I get a yes or after some prayer and meditation I may come to the realization that perhaps certain endeavors of mine may not be for me at all or at the particular given time. I do know that there have been opportunities that I have let pass by due to fear.

The crazy part is that I typically don't take myself too seriously and just have fun with life. I laugh at myself, my falls and all. So why have I been so guarded and not within the same mindset when it comes to singing? It's just a funny thing. During one music session with my cousin, he shared how he can play his bass guitar for anyone and he has played with some big names. However when it comes to public speaking, the fear just kicks in. I shared with him I'm just the opposite. I have done public speaking and even won scholarships for public speaking, but the singing thing, no siree. I have not been able to do. And trust me, I've tried a couple, maybe a few times. I just had a flashback and remembered this story that I've never shared. I tried out as a performer at Six Flags in Atlanta, Georgia back in my 20's. I started the song, got super hot, flustered and just walked away. I could tell that the judges were interested in having me come back, but I grabbed my then boyfriend and whispered, "let's go." The room was filled with my peers as well as the judges and I think that was part of the reason why I couldn't carry on, the size of the crowd. That had to be it {so I’m still guessing}because when I tried out and got into the performing arts school during high school, my audition was, you guessed it, singing, and I even accompanied myself on the piano. But the room was only filled with me, the piano teacher and the musical theater teacher.

It may be useful for me to figure out my blocks, but needless to say, I'm going to do it {big smile.} I would love for you to join me on Facebook and Instagram where I'll share my #YearofNOFear challenges that I give to myself, plus post the accomplishments, as well as any defeats which I know me, I won’t consider anything a defeat, just a lesson well learned and knowing me I will have a journal during this journey so I can learn from any of my mistakes. Along with share my #YearOfNOFear journey on Facebook and Instagram, I'll also write a monthly blog posts sharing each months highlights. So yes, let's do this. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey.
Stay tuned.